Invalid point, Platell

In follow up to my recent (yesterday, in fact) blog regarding Terry Pratchett's involvement in a BBC documentary that explicitly shows the dignified death of a motor neurone sufferer in the Swiss Dignitas facility, I would like to address what one Amanda Platell has bleated about the issue in amongst her dirge of celebrity commentary in today's Daily Mail .

Please find her article here http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1377512/Terry-Pratchetts-Alzheimers-hero-BBC-suicide-documentary-hes-wrong.html

Not only has Platell awkwardly sandwiched what is intended as a piece of hard-candy commentary between a gripe at new mum Holly Willoughby's request for privacy during her baby's primary moments on earth, and a piece on the lack of talent now involved in Britain's Got Talent following Piers 'I killed Larry King' Morgan's and Simon 'Make them then Break them' Cowell's departure from the show, but she has slung the word 'propaganda' around with all the contextual misappropriation of a 5 year old at Question Time (or George Bush on a good day).

'To my mind, this is the almost pathologically liberal BBC at its worst, producing a propaganda film for the pro-euthanasia lobby and deliberately significant number of Britons who believe in the sanctity of life.'

Time to put the soapbox on ebay, me thinks, Platell.

My issue here mainly, is the term 'pathologically liberal'. If by liberal, she means fair, unobjective, and balanced (as it should), then fine. But PATHOLOGICALLY LIBERAL? This is a term I personally wouldnt fully commit to unless I had read the instruction manual that came with it first.

And propaganda? Is it not indeed propaganda for 'God' each time the BBC airs Songs of Praise each Sunday evening, as it has done since, oooh, about 1961? Course not. Because its a piece of inoffensive Sunday night programming.

And this is how Terry Pratchett: A Right To Die should be treated. Not as a 'snuff movie'. The fact that Platell has used this term in her article means she has about much respect for this so-called sanctity of life as those who are so offensive and misguided in airing this documentary.

'What makes this all the more insidious is the high moral tone adopted by the corporation. 'The BBC does not have a stance on assisted suicide, but we do think this is an important matter of debate,' says a spokesperson.'

She then goes on to say how the involvement of Mr Pratchett (an Alzheimer's sufferer who has quite openly commented on his personal choice to die, however he sees fit), seems like a pretty blatant stance of opinion to her.

I mean, of course it would be better to have someone completely inappropriate to present this documentary, such as the Chuckle Brothers, Keith Chegwin, or Richard Madelely (Alan Partridge's nominated representative on Earth). Perhaps the end credits to the documentary could be played over footage of the Brothers Chuckles latest moneymaking machine throwing a pensioner down the stairs, or skinning a cat. Lovely stuff.

Let it be known also , the BBC have usually been at the forefront when it comes to cutting edge programming. Im not going to say controversial, because it really doesnt apply. This is real life, and its time people stop avoiding this.

Why is it deemed absolutely fine to air footage of British and American war machines stomping the life out of a schoolhouse, or the ground a hospital used to occupy in the Middle East? All in the name of progress.....

Lets stop spoon feeding from the same tired old end of the pudding dish, and let people make their own minds up' eh? Is that not the 'Christian' thing to do anyhow?

Although Platell might have a point about Britain's Got Talent.....

Terry Pratchett : A Right To Die

Politicians...

Theres an analogy I like to use, and believe me, when I find and analogy I like, I raise it, feed it, and repeatedly force it on unsuspecting members of the public.

Here's my Martin Luther King moment... kind of... well, probably not.

We the people, we are on the shop floor. We do what we can do get the job done. We have our little gripes with the boss, piss and whine when we notice the vending machine is fresh out of quavers, and by god do we love a dress down day. Jeans at work.. mental!

So this is our lot in life, even providing occasional beads of contentment.

And as is the case in almost any organisation, the decisions that effect us are rarely made by ourselves. More so they are made by those who have never set foot on the shop/office floor. Those who have no idea of the detriment and dent to morale when said Quavers have actually been culled due to 'management' seeing them as having a negative effect on production. And we have to accept this blind organisation.

This article isnt going to be about cheesy maize snacks. I promise.

So again with the Daily Mail already, but fear not. Im not criticizing them on this fine morning.

It is more the fact that they have published a very thought-provoking (though typically biased) piece on euthanasia, and more to the point, how current documentaries seemingly 'romanticise assisted death and dying.' Not my words, but the words of TORY MP, Nadine Dorries.

Guess what Nadine. You will NEVER have a say in my life or indeed my death.

So... you know... NER-NER NER-NER NEEEEER-NER, etc.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1377062/Outcry-BBC2-euthanasia-documentary-presented-Terry-Pratchett.html

An already completed BBC documentary entitled Terry Pratchett: Choosing To Die (one of the more misleading titles of late, Im sure), is to show on-screen the last moments of a British motor-neurone sufferer who has chosen to die graciously in the Swiss Dignitas clinic - http://www.dignitas.ch/index.php?id=117&Itemid=166&option=com_content&task=view .

Pratchett, an Alzheimer's Disease sufferer and humanitarian, stays at the bedside of the dying man throughout the end.

Now Mr Pratchett is being heralded as a 'cheerleader for assisted suicide' by medical professionals, politicians, (oddly) human right campaigners, and of course religious leaders.

Why the reaction? Well, to support euthanasia is apparently a big 'fuck you' to the sanctity of life.

What gives anyone the right, other than the individual in question, to deem what is a breach on the sanctity of life.

These.. lets call them 'lifers' (I like that).. need to go and spend, say, a week at the home of someone who is so far gone into their terminal illness that they'd be lucky to have enough breath left for their final 'Amen'. They want to take a long, hard goddamned look at the person lying before them. Frail, broken, immobile, waiting. Just waiting.

These lifers may want to then take a look at the sufferers partners, the dark indelible rings under their eyes, from hours of around the clock care and worry.

They should take a look at the photos on the mantlepiece, the faces of those who not only love the sufferer, but will have to file the memories of the person at their worst, alongside the good ones, before the machines, the tubes, the pills, the vomit. Before a day felt like a painful lifetime.

Yes, life is sacred. Even when its tearing life apart.

Allow me to present a scenario.

Imagine a boardroom. You have the religious reps, the medical reps, the politicians. An axis of assholes.

Lighting a cigarette, the medical rep takes a puff, inhales, exhales - ' We just cant have this euthanasia in place, legally or otherwise. We just cant. The diagnostic industry has already taken a dive. If more people start ending their lives with dignity, thats less people to buy the drugs we produce. And Ive already had to sell my Jag, I'm not parting with the Bentley too.'

Politician, zipping up and sending the 15 year old prostitute out from under the desk and back to the lunchroom - 'Fear not, it will never happen. With the war going on, death is everywhere. Theyll cling on to life in all forms, bereft or otherwise, if we keep showing people how expendable it is. Leave this with me, we will keep things so bad and futile in Britain that bare bones life is all these people will be able to hold hope in.'

Religious Leader, rubbing hands together - 'And if you can all make things soooo bad and keep that standard, they will literally be praying to cling onto the the fragile shards of belief they have left. Dont forger to say a Hail Mary on the way out. Everybody wins.'

Now, this may well be an exaggeration of reality. I mean, I forgot to mention they were all stroking cats at the time, and talking about highly expensive and improbable methods of death for certain secret agents.

But underneath all the posturing, and heralding of the 'sanctity of life', could there be more mainstream motives such as money in keeping assisted death illegal? I believe this would require a whole lot of investigation. Maybe even months worth.

So we have basically gone from originally not accepting the idea of euthanasia, to now not even giving it a fair representation in the media in case it is too glorified.

Well, do we not glorify death anytime we publish a news article about a brave young soldier who died saving members of his platoon? Yes, we do. We have to, as it makes the government look better. 'Congratulations, sorry about the coma. Here have a posthumous George's Cross.'

Of course, THIS method of death is acceptable. Youre dying for this flea-bitten piece of shit country, in a war thats not ours, started by a government that were never acting in our best interests.

Isnt patriotism a beautiful thing.

Its these same assholes who will decide how we die in other forms of life too.

Migration to Switzerland, anyone?

Ding Ding. Round One - Supersize vs Superskinny. Guest Referee - The Daily Mail

Ok, now I dont give much of a crap about this thing we call 'celebrity' (sponsored and funded by...well..you), whether it's their ridiculous pets, make-ups and break-ups, new goddamned fragrances (which lets face it, either smell like diluted piss drenched in ethanol, or new-born baby cross-bred with corn on the cob), etc.

A vast majority of these skin specimens have done little more to gain their status than traded their pride for profit via this 'reality tv' garbage, loosely presented as entertainment . Its hard to believe there may already be a generation of people who dont have a rootin' tootin' clue that Kerry Katona was once a 'real' person as part of Atomic Kitten (and to be fair why should they give a shit?).

A cross examination on the ineptitude of what 'celebrity' is would certainly not be done much justice by myself, nor is it an original observation that Charlie Brooker or the likes could do with more fury and eloquence than I can in my painkiller-fuelled (long story) rants.

I think the point I am slowly yet hopefully limping towards here is that the popular media have more influence than they should. This is our fault. Yours, mine, and all thats in between.

Why, you ask? I'l tell you why.

Because our own single-minded lives arent enough to keep us interested, and as is human nature, we care far too much for someone else's problems/achievements/issues than our own. So we buy the magazines, the DVDs, the celebrity 'pap-apps'. We create the monster, clothe it, feed it, fill its head with horseshit, make it seem more important than it is, and then freak out when it breaks outta the lab and goes global.

And yet, we expect to be told the truth, to be shown whats wrong, and whats right, by the media. What we should care about, how we should judge. Love Thy Neighbour, Hate Thyself. Nuclear good, but only if we own it. What not to wear, what not to eat. Too fat, too thin... End Scene.

So I'm reading the Daily Mail online.. (Im a cheap bastard, and the computer was already turned on, so add lazy to that). Admittedly, Im drawn to an item on Amy Whinehouse, and how she now has a muffin-top and apparently looks just plain obese.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1376526/Time-new-jeans-Amy-Winehouse-fight-muffin-small-denims.html

I know what youre thinking. I'll even do an impression of how your thought process is playing out: adopts whiny high-pitched voice, consumed with self-righteousness- 'Adam, what a hypocrite you are, young man. Youve just ripped celebrity culture, only to then admit you DO give a shit. But my.. you ARE handsome with it.'

Yeah, well... bite me. I was drawn to this story, because its typical of the hypocrisy we now come to not only accept, but in some quarters, except from the media. The same media that informs us of what our oh-so trusted government are up to, or what we should be putting into our mouths (in hindsight the former and the latter arent always mutually exclusive).

My secondary reason is on a completely personal level. I was chastised for much of my childhood, and a small portion of my adulthood about my weight, and for a while it ruled my life.

And the media are bucking this trend by making the rules on whats acceptable and what isnt in the same breath.

Oh, and according to http://www.disordered-eating.co.uk/eating-disorders-statistics/anorexia-nervosa-statistics-uk.html, in the UK 1 in 100 women between 15 years old and 30 years old currently suffer from anorexia.

Go figure. Again, I know Im not the first to point this out. But enough is enough.

Im not particularly singling Miss Whinehouse out for any other reason. Yeah, from time to time I enjoy her music, but I dont care who she's dating, what shes smoking, or what craaazy tattoo she may get yet. She is a genuinely talented woman, who has unfortunately had some problems along the way, but just cant seem to win in the eyes of good friend Media.

Check out this story from 2008 about Miss Whinehouse.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1062504/Stick-Amy-Winehouse-faces-police-probe-hitting-fan-face-admits-I-like-this.html

And... its the Daily Mail again. Lets not beat around the bush. This is pretty fucked up. And there is NO excuse for violence (unless someone really annoys you in ways such as stealing your tupperware, or getting your dog pregnant).

And clearly the Daily Mail agrees with these. Summit climbed, moral highground maintained, and we can all hear them down here from up on there high horse. Well done. Top Gun journalism.

But Amy sure as hell isnt beating the crap out of anyone, chasing the dragon, scuffling with fans, or cutting herself in 2011. No, the worst thing she has done is to look a bit healthy and grow a belly. The opposite to her previous condemnations.

What sort of a message are the Daily Mail sending out?

A) the fact shes filled out a bit isnt news worthy and anyone who has an iota of whats relevant on the general scheme of things wont give a shit anyway. Japan, Gadaffi, Iraq... hell, I'll even throw the current state of OUR nation in to that.

In fact, it pains me to think that an actual real life person I work with termed Robert Mugabe as a 'man who did some naughty things', without a trace of irony.

B)Articles like this are also having too much of an effect on an already frail generation who are possibly already struggling to see any hope in our fast crumbling infrastructure. Are there jobs to work towards? Is the personal debt of university worth it? Am I worth a damn in this cold and imagine obsessed land we have forged for future generations? It all sounds a bit dramatic, sure, but these reasonings Im presenting here hold more than a few grains of truth.

C) Of course, theres also the fact (I can prove it) that for every piece of ass-crack article like this one, there may be one, ten, maybe a hundred young people who are now almost so groomed to care about putting on weight and whatnot, that pretty soon its going to be innate from womb-exit. And those statistics are gonna just climb and climb.

So join me on this.

Im not going to pay out for my TV license anymore. Its trash. Unfulfilling, self-governing trash. Whether its the news, reality tv, political broadcasts, celebrity specials.... its bullshit.

Instead, Im going to do some good with that money, most likely I will donate it to an eating disorder charity.

Maybe you can do that too. Or even if its just that 70p or whatever on Heat, Closer, Celebrity Train Wrecks, or whatever the hell it is.

Thanks for your time. And join me again when I will be asking ' Should Lollipop Ladies Be Armed?'

New fricking song what I just wrote.

WTF ??

The candle I held for you

Was a ticking time bomb

A wedding cake of dynamite

A suicidal song

I took a sip of hope

And drowned it in despair

And you filled my glass

It wouldnt last.

Benefits-bought beer

The best Ive ever tasted

I bit my lip and made a quip

For all my chances wasted

It made you laugh, and then you left.

So long

You said 'tortured soul? You're an asshole'

I said 'I'd have to agree

I did my time and wrote some lines

Downed a bottle of red or three

You took my hope

Like a soap on a rope

And questioned my validity

And now Im done

It was fun.

She came like a prayer

And left like a dream

Like a suicide hotline

She heard all his screams

She drove to him on the highway

Her lights on full-beam

A gamble in the darkness

That paid off, it seems

A kiss on the couch

From a modern-day saint

She gave his worn soul

A new lick of paint

A stab in the dark

And a jolt to the heart

A new fucking chapter

A hell of a start

Love, Reality TV, Taxes and Other Disappointments

'Love, Reality TV, Taxes, And Other Disappointments' is a compilation of poems I'm putting together, with a view of submitting to some online publishers. Enjoy.

First Kiss

She asked ‘What do you do?’

Chewing on the end of her straw,

A look in her eye,

Never seen before ,

‘It’s not that exciting,’ playing it down,

‘I’m a cartoon Sheriff in a lunatic town.’

At this she laughed, a nasal sound made,

Another piece removed, from her masquerade,

She took it as Gospel, no questions asked,

Brushing my knee, contact at last.

This brand new person, I’ve only just met,

But already this feels as good as it gets,

An awkward hand-hold, fingers through her hair,

I leaned in slowly, accepting my own dare,

This dirty old town, suddenly bright behind us,

Her lips on mine, a quiet warm truss.

Fear melted away on that winter-tinged night,

From than on I knew, the world is alright.

Poetry Corner...

Something I found that I must have written a thousand beers ago.

She said 'You're twenty six years old,

So what's with the grey hairs?'

I said 'I toed the line too many times,

fell heart-first down some stairs.'

She threw her head back and laughed

Then stared me in the eye,

She held my gaze and took my hand,

And continued to breathe the lie.

A smouldering sheet of notepaper

Fell from the thirteenth floor,

A scattered dream, never found,

Heard knocking door to door.

The people in the street below

Whispered grievances into the night

A wind of change that gathered speed,

And set the words alight.